Well, our IUI on Nov. 2nd wasn't a success. So, the process starts all over again. Nikki completed her second round of Clomid on Thursday. This time the doctor increased her dosage from 50mg to 100mg.
On the seventh day post ovulation blood test earlier this month showed her progesterone level was high. This led us to believe that we actually went in for IUI a day too early. Nikki got a positive ovulation test on that Friday, November 2. We went in that day for IUI. In July, when Nikki had her first IUI, she had a positive ovulation test on Sunday, July 1, and had IUI done on Monday, July 2. Her seven days post-ovulation blood work showed she did ovulate the day of IUI. We got a positive pregnancy test, but she later miscarried in August.
So, this round, we are gonna do IUI the day after her positive ovulation test, and hopefully get good results.
As the holidays are here, our hearts are just a little more heavy. We long to have our children to create memories and traditions with. For now, we have our many nieces and nephews to dote on. But, they're not "ours".
I would never have thought that I'd be 32-years-old, and not have any children. When I was 20, I thought I'd have my 2 or 3 kids by the time I turned 30. Nikki didn't plan on having as many difficulties with conceiving and staying pregnant either. It's funny how we plan things when we're young, and just assume that's how things will "play-out".
I'm glad things did not go as I planned at 20 because I may never have met the love of my life, Nikki. I wouldn't change or trade one minute of our 7 years together. She is my dream come true. She works hard to provide for us. Especially now when, due to back problems, I'm unable to work.
I have always battled with my weight. As far back into my childhood as I can remember, I was always taller and bigger than the other kids. As an adult, I have dieted, exercised, did unhealthy things, all to lose weight. I will lose some, then get lazy and gain it all back, plus some. I've always been very self conscious about the way I look. When Nikki met me I was about 85 pounds lighter than I am now. I've took for granted the ability to walk/exercise. Since last October, when I got another herniated disc in my back that is impinging on a nerve, I haven't been able to do much. So, needless to say, I have put on a few pounds. But, Nikki doesn't see the weight. She sees "me". She sees the woman she loves. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't tell me how beautiful I am. She looks in my eyes and tells me. Even when I can't find one thing about myself that I like, she finds many, many things. She loves all of me. I never dreamed that I would find a woman like her. She is self-less and encouraging. She makes this journey worth-it. She keeps me motivated and going each day, even on the days when I'm the most down.
She has definitely had to "put-up" with a lot from me. Due to me being Bipolar, I am depressed a majority of the time. She is always there to comfort me and see me thru all of my "episodes". But, I'll write about myself in another blog post.
We hope that this is the last holiday season we have to celebrate childless. We hope to be posting good news in a few weeks. That would definitely be the best Christmas gift ever!
Written by Barbara
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